


Asphyxiation

by EldrichRose



Category: League of Legends
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Blood, F/M, Gen, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mental Health Issues, One-Sided Attraction, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:20:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24616705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EldrichRose/pseuds/EldrichRose
Summary: Flowers are a funny thing.Each one has a different meaning.They're beautiful to look at and hold but they don't last forever. They require so much work and time for something that will never last.No matter what you do.It never lasts.
Relationships: Aphelios/Sett (League of Legends), Sett/Soraka (League of Legends)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 61





	Asphyxiation

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you reading this! I came across an idea and it inspired this fic!
> 
> I tried a new writing style and theme and I think it turned it good. It's un beta'd but I think I caught most it out hopefully!!
> 
> I made a [Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/05Zeuxtxj9yo2duGxiaFZo?si=mJL6PD3rSR2HCPgf_hSm9Q)

Aphelios landed on his back with a solid thud. The air left his lungs and he saw stars as he tried to understand what just happened. One minute him and Sett were sparing locked into an even match. The next minute the world was spinning and Sett managed to grapple him. Aphelios could feel the building pressure in his chest. Coughing a fuzzy magenta blob entered his vision and Aphelios blinked rapidly as Sett came into focus.

"Dude you okay?" Sett asked, offering his hand to him.

Taking it with a firm grip Aphelios felt himself get hoisted back to his feet. As he struggled to get his breathing under control as the world spun.

Dusting himself off Aphelios nodded slowly, "Yeah sorry just lost focus for a second" his voice as always was barely above a whisper.

"I mean yeah I could see that. You rarely let me get a hit let alone let me toss you like that," There was a hint of concern in his voice as Sett moved to grab both water bottles from the bench, "and don't say you're fine. I will punch you. "

He turned and tossed one to Aphelios who thankfully was paying attention and caught it with one hand. Aphelios was eyeing Sett not really sure what to say so he occupied the silence by drinking. Sett moved to stand near the shorter male wiping the sweat from his forehead with a towel.

"You've been distracted for a while and you know I'm not the best at uh feelings and stuff, " Sett waved his hands as he talked, "so if I'm noticing, you're not being very subtle at all. Is it the upcoming competition? Girl problems? School?"

Sett continued talking mostly to himself at this point while Aphelios watched. They began walking out the gym and towards their next classes.

"No no, can't be the competition you're the best in light weight and your ego won't let you lose," Aphelios glared at Sett who was still lost in his own train of thought.

"Definitely not school, I mean you got a _hundred_ on the last math quiz and I think the only person smarter than you is Soraka."

Tucking his water bottle in his gym bag Aphelios muttered bitterly to himself, "You think everyone is a genius because they can solve simple equations." 

Sett clapped him on his shoulder causing him to jump, "Don't worry, every young boy goes through lady problems."

Aphelios stiffened before shrugging off the hand and picked up his pace. He didn't want to have any feeling talk with anyone let alone Sett. He's heard enough about the girl he had a crush on and he didn't want another reminder.

Sett was able to keep up with Aphelios's hasty retreat easily with his longer legs. 

"I mean sure, talking to them is hard and sometimes I'm confused about their mannerisms," Sett continued oblivious to the discomfort of his friend.

"A lot of things confuse you, you oaf," there was no bite to the soft spoken words as Aphelios rolled his eyes, "seriously thought, I'm fine."

"Well when you want to talk about who you like. I'll be here. Besides I've gone on enough times about mine so it's only fair," Sett looked at his friend with a blinding smile and Aphelios felt his heart stutter.

Nodding hesitantly not trusting himself to speak. He tightened the grip on his bag as the familiar ache in his chest crept up. A harsh cough ripped itself free and Aphelios covered his mouth. Pulling his hand back he saw the familiar yellow petals and blood. Thankfully Sett was looking away as someone waved to him while they passed by. Aphelios clenched his fist and shoved it into his pocket.

Arriving at the main building where they normally parted ways the two faced each other. At this point Aphelios knew the other's schedule by heart so it was easy to know where Set was headed. Aphelios was happy to walk with Sett to his next class. Even if his class was on the opposite side of the campus. It was another chance he got to spend with his best friend.

Sett looked concerned as he searched Aphelios over. He gave his dark haired friend a smile wiping the corner of his mouth. Aphelios was confused by the motion considering Set didn't even eat anything. However Sett quickly waved goodbye as he headed up the large stairs to his English class. 

Aphelios stood there thinking before it quickly hit him and ran into the nearest bathroom. There was blood on the corner of his lips and panic swelled up. He could no longer hold back the wet choking coughs. He spent the next period curled around the porcelain. The roots in his chest tightened with each thought of his best friend.

**_________**

_"Come on freak, you can't hide forever"_

_Aphelios curled in further in the plastic of the slide as more of the kids pelted it with rocks. He had fled in here as soon as school let out knowing what was coming. He was used to harsh words, the pushing and endless insults. However Alune was getting worried each time he came limping home covered in cuts and bruises._

_He's gotten better at running and hiding, and covering when he can't run any more. He doesn't want his sister to worry, she's got her own problems. Knowing her she'd just fight back and Aphelios couldn't stand the thought of his sweet sister getting hurt. So it's okay if it was just him._

_"Guys! I almost got him!"_

_One of the smaller kids, with dirty blonde hair Aphelios thinks, manages to squeeze his large body in and grab his sweatshirt. Panic raced up Aphelios's spine as he was being roughly pulled out of the cramped space. In a rush to try and scramble out of the large garment Aphelios got himself tangled up and in an awkward position. As the boy tugged to get him out Aphelios felt pain in his left shoulder realizing if he didn't straighten out he was going to get hurt. This renewed his efforts in trying to escape as he kicked and flailed about._

_His voice was hoarse and cracked with disuse as Aphelios yelled, "No! Stop please!"_

_Tears stung as laughter filled his ears. The other boy only began to pull harder and Aphelios felt another pair of hands join in yanking him out. His breaths came in short as panic set in. The pain from his left arm spiking and this sick crunching sound was heard as they tugged one final time._

_Aphelios let out the loudest scream of pain he came tumbling out of the slide. His tormentors dropped him once they had him out. The laughing stopped as everyone froze. Few of the weaker kids fed as quickly as they could._

_Aphelios laid on the hot sand, thick tears streaming down his face. No one moved, no one said anything as they all looked at each other in terror._

_"What the fuck is going on here?"_

_It was a new voice, deeper and filled with anger._

_Aphelios didn't remember much after the magenta haired boy stepped forward and knocked the daylights out of one of his tormentors. The pain was so much he briefly blacked out. Coming too to someone picking him up clumsily._

_"We're going to teach you how to fight back"_

_After that day Sett, he finally got a name, kept his word. Every day after school Sett would be waiting outside his classroom. To protect him from future incidents. Eventually it turned into shared lunches as well. Then picking him up for school. He couldn't shake the taller boy no matter what he did.Aphelios was hesitant to get his hopes up but no matter what happened the magenta haired boy wouldn't give up. He was determined to be Aphelios's friend._

_Turns out his family owned a dojo where his mom taught classes on Muay Thai and Taekwondo. She was happy to meet Aphelios and welcomed him with open arms._

_Sett helped him get stronger from then on, including exercises and eating better. Not once did the other boy ever ask about his crescent scars or why he just couldn't talk sometimes. He never treated Aphelios differently despite what the other kids said._

_That day Aphelios made his first friend that would only become his best friend with time._

_That was the season daffodils were in full bloom._

**_________**

He stared blankly out the window as PE students jogged around the track. Lost in thought Aphelios didn't notice the teacher walk up behind him. A loud coughing sound caused the dark hair kid to jump in his seat and look up at the scruffy teacher. The rest of the class chortled at his reaction, some even pointing at him. Aphelios could feel his face heat up as he tried to hide behind his blue notebook.

"I'm sure you're eager to join them in running laps. I'll be sure to let your Mr. Crowngaurd know how much you miss l missed his class," The teacher walked towards the front of the class, "For now Mr. Lunari I expect you to pay attention. I'm sure you wouldn't want your perfect grades to drop again."

Ducking his head in shame Aphelios nodded and returned to taking notes on the math problems on the board. A yellow note found its way onto his desk in the middle of his work. Looking up he saw the familiar bubblegum pink and blue hair of his friend. Carefully unfolding the note he saw in messy pink writing.

_You okay?_

**Yeah just feeling out of it.**

Glancing back up Aphelios saw her looking back at him. Seeing Mr. Graves was facing the board writing out different formulas he quickly jotted down his reply and slipped her the note. She quickly replied and made sure no one was watching before she handed him the note back.

_Is it acting up again?_

Aphelios bit his lip, a deep ache in his chest reminding him of his recent episode in the bathroom. He didn't want to worry Zoe, and by extension his sister, God knows how much Zoe can't keep a secret. He just sighed and slipped the note under the heavy math textbook as Mr. Graves turned around. Watching carefully he wrote back his final reply.

**Nah, just finals coming up. I'm going to spend lunch in the greenhouse though.**

Handing Zoe the note just as Mr. Graves once again turned back around to face them. He gave Aphelios a pointed stare but didn't call him out again thankfully. Zoe kept her head down but looked back at Aphelios every so often with concern. The rest of math passed without any more events thankfully. Aphelios quickly packed his things up and dashed up towards the door, but Mr. Grave's voice stopped him. Aphelios watched the rest of class leave for lunch before he turned to face his fate.

His teacher was sitting down at his large oak desk that was covered in books and papers; it was almost impossible to actually see the surface. Aphelios shifted from foot to foot as his scruffy math teacher just looked at him.

"Look kid, I know you're smart. One of the brightest students I have," Mr. Graves leaned forward folding his scarred hands on the desk, "but you missed your entire second year and have a lot to catch up on if you want to graduate in time. You understand this right? "

Shame and anger burned in Aphelios's gut as he kept his gaze on the ground. He wasn't sure he could face the disappointed look on his favorite teacher. He knew that missing an entire year wasn't going to be easy but he wasn't going to fail! 

"I know not every teacher is going to be as understanding but I am at my limit. I don't think you should be taking any extracurriculars or classes."

Aphelios snapped up, protest on his lips, but his teacher just held up his hand.

"You were in the hospital for an _entire year_ , they weren't sure you were going to make it kid. No one expects you to just bounce back from that," Graves stood up going around to lean his hip on his desk, "it's okay if you need to take summer classes to catch up, but pushing yourself won't do anyone any favors. The conditions of you continuing on this plan was you _don't_ push yourself and if I think you are I will not hesitate to talk to the headmaster."

Aphelios swallowed the lump in his throat as the familiar sting of tears burned. Nodding that he understood he turns and leaves. Frustration bubbled up and spilled over in hot tears. Furiously he scrubbed at his eyes but the tears wouldn't stop. Luckily he didn't run into anyone as he sprinted up the stairs two at a time to the rooftop greenhouse and garden. The familiar site of the greenhouse brings him comfort he didn't realize he missed.

The rooftop was large with one side with raised platform for solar panels And the other side was full of colors. Iron wrought fence wound around the entire right side that dipped down. Large glass dome was directly in the middle with rows and rows upon flowers and vegetables. 

Through his own pounding heart and footsteps he almost missed the sound of choked gagging. Aphelios took a deep breath to calm his frayed nerves. Quietly pushing the gate open as a gentle early autumn breeze ruffled his dark hair. Aphelios spotted a flash of silver to his left hand way around the greenhouse. Not wanting to pry but the familiar sound urged him forward. Standing between rows of dahlias caressing their deep black petals Aphelios saw her there. Kneeling on the dirt covered ground bent over in half. Red splattered on the ground intermixed with golden black petals and flower of daffodils. More crimson stained the silver haired girl's hands as she coughed up more petals. Aphelios could feel her pain, his own fit still leaving him short of breath and empty.

He realizes he shouldn't be here. Interrupting this private heartbreak like a voyeur. The glimmer of her horn stuck him in place and Aphelios realizes where he knows her from. The fourth year uniform, long braided hair, horn- it was Soraka. The one Sett never stopped talking about any chance he got. The one that drove Aphelios into an anger he never felt before. He was sure she was nice and she did nothing wrong in the end but this burning hatred clawed its way into his chest. Buried itself where his heart used to be.

He turned on his heel and stormed away, his mood soured by Soraka.

The familiar sight of crimson stained daffodils burned into his mind.

**_________**

_The steady beep off the heart monitor and the ticking of the clock is what he first heard._

_The lights were dimmed, he thinks._

_Next came the fuzzy pain and confusion._

_Limbs heavy as he tried to move. His voice caught in his throat._

_Everything was too much so he slipped back into darkness. Dreams of a magenta wolf to keep him company._

_The next time he came to was the hushed voices of an unfamiliar man and he thinks it's his aunt._

_They sounded like he was underwater. He felt like it too, everything moving slow and it was hard to breath._

_Each intake caused a sharp pain and that's when he learned there was a tube in his throat._

_The man looked over as the beeping increased. He couldn't make anything out but a blob shaped human._

_Where was he?_

_The pattern continued on but Aphelios wasn't sure how long any more. Everything blurred together._

_But he was in a hospital. The antiseptic smell and sterile white made it easy to tell._

_He wasn't allowed to talk or eat and he didn't know why. Not for a while at least, they said it would be too much strain after the surgery._

_Surgery for what?_

_They did let him watch the simple thing on TV though that didn't hold his attention. He was allowed his phone eventually. Several missed calls and texts. To his shock he's been in here for four months already. He's missed the start of school and he wasn't sure when he would be released either._

**_Big Moon🌕 (35) Unread_ **

**_Himbo Wolf 🐺 (25) Unread_ **

**_Chaos 🐙 (59) Unread_ **

**_28 Missed Calls_ **

**_7 Voice Messages_ **

_He scrolled through Zoe's messages, most of them are memes and updates on the drama going on. It still made him smile that she missed him. His sister's texts were longer and filled with worry. She didn't know why he was in here either. Alune did say she was collecting notes for him. She sent pictures of his cats as well. Most of Sett's were about boxing club and the lack of real competition and he missed his homework buddy. Sett still typed like he was a child and Aphelios wasn't sure who was worse when it came to texting. Sett and his poor spelling or Zoe and her inane slang terms. One thing they all had in common was the talk of their new friend_

_For some reason it left a bitter taste in his mouth the more they talked about her. It was a silly little thought. It just crept into his brain and buried itself._

_The more time passed, the more they talked about her, the less it felt like they missed him._

_Like she was replacing him._

_Days turned into weeks into seasons. Soon everything was silent again and that thought took root, twisting and turning his thoughts against himself._

_It was stupid they wouldn't just replace him._

**_Right?_ **

_The steady beep of the heart monitor was his only reply._

**_________**

That wasn't the last time he ran into Soraka. She kept popping up in his life like a weed. Thankfully without blood he couldn't stand the whispers of guilt. Sometimes it was in the garden they both tended to. Other times it was at their table during lunch. 

This was one such time where they were huddled inside. The early snowfall forced them into the school's library. Alune and Soraka had their textbooks open comparing notes on an upcoming test. Zoe and Sett were deep into a staring contest to see who would get the last cookie that Soraka made. It was impressive how long they've been at it nearly ten minutes.

Aphelios pulled out a thermos covered in stickers that he's gotten from friends or on his own over the years. Most of them are anime or cute animals from Alune and Zoe. Others were some sort of protein brands or gyms from Sett. 

A cheer had Aphelios looking up to see Zoe happily taking her prize.

"Now we're twenty to twenty-one!" She cheered, sticking her tongue out.

Sett slammed his hands on the table causing the two studying to shoot him a glare along with the librarian. 

"I'll get you tomorrow Shrimpy," he replied, sticking his own tongue out.

Rolling his eyes at their antics Aphelios poured the deep purple, almost black, tea into the cup. He took a sip of the bitter liquid that burned going down. Aphelios thought he'd get used to it by now but it felt like it tasted worse each time he had to take it. 

Looking over to his friend Sett's brows furrowed. He took a bite of his own salad before he spoke up.

"Since when did mister caffeine drink tea?" Sett asked, mouth still full, pointing with his fork.

Aphelios sputtered as he looked for an excuse. He looked over to his sister and Soraka who gave him a curious look that was close to sympathy. That made him angry that she of all people was pitying him. Looking back to Sett he felt a tight squeeze in his chest at those amber eyes watching him. 

"You know I've been drinking this for awhile," Aphelios said softly.

"Well yeah, but I mean why. I know you like those flowers but now you're drinking them?"

Aphelios sighed, he couldn't fault Sett because technically he wasn't wrong. It's just like him to think in a simple logical manner. 

Taking another sip, "Yeah, kinda. I mean I thought I would try to grow some tea leaves."

The lie tasted like ash in his mouth as his friends gave him various looks of disbelief. Sett looked at him oddly, hurt flashing in his eyes. Aphelios hated lying and with each one one he could feel himself getting buried in the web he's created.

Perking up Sett's ears twitching with interest as he leaned closer. Aphelios could smell the smokey pine and sweat of his friend. He could make out each detail of Sett's face, the scar across his nose. The flicker of green and gold in his amber eyes and the one dimple he had when Set smiled. Aphelios's heart sped up he was sure others could hear how fast it was going.

"Let me try it!" Sett asked happily, reaching for his cup.

Snatching it away quickly and downing the rest ignoring the burning sensation, "It's a diet tea?" It sounded more like a question as he coughed.

Sett frowned sitting back, "You don't need to drink that shit. You're skinny enough as is and besides it's not like you need it. You're perfect the way you are." 

Aphelios's we widen as blush covered his entire face. The words echoed in his mind on repeat not able to comprehend the complement. He didn't mean it the way Aphelios could only dream of he didn't dare give himself any hope. It was only something Sett could say and wholly mean it. It was just like him. Honest to a fault, and loved with open arms. It was no wonder how Aphelios came to love someone who burned bright as the sun.

Soraka froze in her seat looking between the two friends but Alune nudged Soraka, breaking her out of her thoughts. Alune gave her friend a questioning look. Soraka just gave Alune a watery smile.

The rest of lunch was spent in silence before they all had to go their separate ways.

Aphelios could only focus on that bright smile and those daffodils all those years ago.

**_________**

_"I don't understand it," the younger boy said sitting next to him._

_They were at Aphelios's house out back in the garden. The darker haired boy had a sunhat that covered him from the Summer's blistering heat. While Sett had an orange tank top and olive green shorts._

_Aphelios looked from the plot of soil he was tiling in confusion._

_Sett sipped on the glass of lemonade he returned with, "The flowers you like so much. They're pretty but like they die so quickly. Is it worth the effort?"_

_Aphelios frowned pondering the question as he carefully picked up the tray of canary yellow flowers. He set one in the hole he made and carefully covered it with the new soil. Deep black eyed studied the delicate plant and could see why most wouldn't bother with them. There's so much work and time that goes into something that's destined to end no matter how much someone tries. You could water and nurture the flower but at the end of it all. It will wilt and die._

_Sitting back on his haunches wiping the sweat from his brow he looked over to his friend. Sett was leaning back on one hand and he had his eyes on Aphelios the entire time. Aphelios's felt his heart stutter and it became hard to breath. It was looking into the sun. Beautiful and impossible hot but something about it drew you in until you burned. Sett gave him a big smile, a tooth missing on one side and suddenly it all made sense._

_That summer a seed planted in his heart._

_"Some things are worth effort," Aphelios responded softly._

_Warm summer breeze ruffled their hair and the air was filled with the scent of daffodils and lemonade._

_And his sun was there to help it grow._

**___________ **

Fall came and went like the autumn leaves. Snow swept in and their holiday break was right around the corner. Plans were made to happen over the break. 

Zoe was going out of town with her family for the first part of the week and Sett said him and his mom were taking their normal road trip to their hometown.

Aphelios found himself in the greenhouse, holiday break just a day away. He was making sure the plants were set up for maintenance to care after them in his stead. Turning around to place a vase of fresh cut hyacinths but froze upon seeing the bright pink based cream colored gardenias. The vase in his hands and tumbled to the ground and shattered. Petals and water spilled on the cold ground as he stumbled to the bench. The snow danced outside as hot tears spilled down his cheeks. He didn't understand why he was crying. Aphelios folded in on himself as sobs wracked his body. Every pent up emotion, every unspoken word, every broken hope came pouring out.

Aphelios wasn't sure how long he sat there in the cold ass the sun sunk into the horizon. He was shivering as a new wave hit him. Hunched over he felt the tall tell signal of his stomach turning. The flowers came rushing out. Yellow petals fell like his tears as he hacked up blood and full blooms. Aphelios shook as the episode came to an end. Breathing heavily, harsh and ragged, he felt numb and empty. 

The crunch of snow alerted that someone was approaching. Aphelios couldn't find the energy to move as someone wrapped a thick blue blanket around his shivering form. Soft hands pulled his own away from his mouth. Aphelios watched as a warm, wet cloth cleaned the blood off his hands. It was surreal as the hands cleaned him up of vomit and blood. With a stark realization it was Soraka who found him. A bitter laugh bubbled up as she just pressed a warm my of deep purple liquid into good hands. 

There was a still silence as she picked up the full flowers and gently cleaned them. Canary yellow flowers that haunted him at night. Reminding him of everything he couldn't have. 

Of the person he couldn't have.

The mess was cleaned and the older girl sat beside him. The bouquet of daffodils in her small hands seemed so out of place. It finally dawned on Aphelios why those petals he saw come from seemed so familiar.

It was the same flower.

There was a tense air of understanding between the two as Aphelios sipped on his tea. 

They had the same pain, the same wounds, the same one-sided feelings. All for the same person. 

Aphelios wasn't surprised by this. He's seen the way people look at his best friend even if Sett was oblivious. That man was bright as the sun and it naturally drew people to him. His brilliant smile at anyone who talked to him, caring nature to protect he deemed as a friend, the way he just seemed to know the right words to comfort anyone. 

It was all the same reasons he fell in love with him that summer. 

"He's lucky to have you," she finally spoke. 

It was soft and he almost mistook it for the wind. Aphelios shook his head not ready to talk about that quiet yet.

"How long?" He croaked out.

It was quiet for a while, he believed she wouldn't answer. He watched one of the bright petals fall to the ground. 

"Almost two years," she paused her voice wavering like she was holding back tears, "longer probably."

He looked over to her as he let his hands rest in his lap. Soraka's head was tilted down, her hair showing her features but he could see the shimmer of tears. 

Aphelios weighed the words in his mind before curiosity got the better of him, "How much longer you have?"

Soraka's hands tightened around the flowers, "Not much longer. The doctor-" her voice cracked as she spoke, " the doctor said I would be lucky to graduate. The medicine is only a temporary solution. Enough to buy some time to solve the issue or…" 

She trailed off looking up to Aphelios. He was struck with the same expression he's seen in the mirror a thousand times. The look of being so in love with someone. That no matter how much it hurt you couldn't possibly live without them. They both knew at the end of this road only held more blood and tears. The flowers in their lungs to be replaced by white lilies on their graves. 

The tea was a fairly new medicine but it was a dangerous one. Made from petals of a toxic plant it ate away at organic material. It gave the patient enough time before it became toxic to use. You didn't get a refill. There was 'no one more chance'. No 'just a little more time'. Aphelios could do the math, Soraka was out of time. There was a funny feeling in his heart at that thought. 

He had a choice to make and he thinks maybe dying might be less painful than this. They talked in hushed voices, Aphelios mostly listening as Soraka spoke. Telling him of how she met Sett, how he came to get rescue her from an attempt of assault. She stayed out too late and ended up walking home but like a knight in jeans he was there for her. Everyday he waited for her just to walk her home. By the timeline Aphelios knew it was during his time in the hospital. Hearing her talk about his best friend like he wishes he had the nerve to do ate away at him. 

Honestly it broke his heart all over again because he knew. 

He knew unlike him, Sett loved her. The way Sett spoke about Soraka his voice held this gentleness he never heard before. Jealousy burned in him because it wasn't fair. Why couldn't Sett ever talk about him like that.

Part of him wanted to get up and walk away. Never look back and pretend this never happened. Aphelios wasn't sure he could though. 

If he left now he knew the outcome. Like a flower that was picked in the spring it would wilt in the winter.

All flowers just needed care and attention and they could survive the worst of it all. With hate, heartbreak and understanding he stood and moved to his bag. Shaky hands he pulled out the blue box with white words of Noxum on the front. Flipping the lid open he counted, he had about half of his doses left. It was just enough. Closing it back up he started at the flower on the front. It was a vivid magenta heart shaped flower and it was so ironic that it hurt. The bleeding heart was the flower they used for the tea. Tears slipped down his face as he left the box on the table.

Soraka gasped and stood up quickly pressing the box back into his hands.

"I can't take this, it's not fair to you!"

Shaking his head he stepped back giving her a hard look, "Every Christmas we take a small hike up the hill. In the woods there's a small cabin," Soraka looked confused and Aphelios wasn't sure he could talk without his voice breaking,"Sett and his dad built it together. He may not like him very much anymore but we go there and spend Christmas Eve there. You can see the stars clearly…"

Aphelios's voice dropped, getting softer, "take this and you go to the base of the mountain. You go on that hike with him. You hold him like he's going to disappear if you even think about letting go. You wipe each tear he cries and you listen to each broken promise his dad made."

Aphelios had tears streaming down his pale face. Soraka watched him, crying just the same.

"You tell him how he puts the sun to shame. How each scar is a beautiful reminder of how strong he is. You tell him that there's nothing more important than his happiness. You tell him that you love him like there's no tomorrow."

Aphelios was sobbing now, his words hard to understand between the hiccups and stuttering. 

"Do you love him?" Soraka asked.

Aphelios doesn't know if his eyes betrayed him and revealed the truth. He's afraid that they do. He was never good at lying and Sett always told him how expressive his deep, dark blue eyes were. Aphelios was afraid he couldn't hide it. Not anymore. He's afraid of Soraka finding out, if Alone finding out, of…

Of Sett finding out.

Aphelios gives her a smile that was hollow as his heart, " No I don't, he's just my best friend"

He left that day with petals in his lungs and his heart in pieces. 

**___________ **

_They were standing upon a hill and the stars just came out to play. A large hand grabbed his own and Aphelios looked over to Sett._

_Burning amber eyes looked back and Aphelios could feel his heart beating faster. Sett always had this carefree attitude but seeing this serious look on him was…_

_Different, not scary, just a new side to his friend._

_"We'll be together forever right?"_

_Aphelios blinked at the question. His thoughts running a mile a minute. Of course no two people were ever together that long. It just wasn't possible. People changed and people grew apart. That's how life was._

_That's not what he said._

_"Of course," Aphelios said like it was obvious._

_He shocked himself how much he believed his own words. That him and Sett would always be together._

_That night they spent talking about anything and everything. Evening was stripped and laid bare before the two friends. All their fears, hope and dreams. There was this deep bond that was forged that night that fate itself couldn't break._

_That night they slept curled around each other as tears dried on their cheeks._

_That night, the seed in Aphelios's heart bloomed._

**___________ **

Winter came and went leaving a frozen world. Spring came fast and hard but something changed with the new season.

Someone was still stuck in winter frozen and unable to thaw.

The first day back Soraka and Sett walked hand in hand into school. They're friends were happy for them. Alune was happy for her best friend but something was off about her. The way she seemed so close to breaking down with each passing day.

However weeks passed and it became apparent that Aphelios wasn't coming back. It was the talk of the school and those close to him were just as confused but eventually he was forgotten.

Winter finally gave way to spring and Alune found herself before a headstone. Sobbing and beating her fists for the brother she lost. She never knew how much he was hurting and it broke her to know he didn't confide in her. If she only knew the pain he was going through. She finished the year numbly and got into the college of her dreams. It took time and it took patience but she got better. She became the best psychologists she could be. Alune never wanted anyone to suffer like her brother did. On the anniversary of her brother passing she got a tattoo of a purple anemone beneath a full moon. Proudly told anyone who asked about the meaning behind it.

That her brother was the most selfless person she knew and he was always watching over her.

**___________ **

Zoe stood before the headstone oddly quiet. She didn't know what to say. Didn't know how to act. Of course she was the only who knew and maybe if she said something. Did something. Her friend would still be here. She tried her hardest to get him help to let him know that there's hope but…

She couldn't help someone who didn't want it.

She threw herself into school work with a chaotic focus. It was rough for Zoe without her friend to ground her but she pulled through. She knew Aphelios wouldn't want her to go down the path she spiraled into after, but she managed to pull through. Alune helped her get help for the depression and addiction she had. It took years for her to be okay but she did it. Zoe wanted to be the person Aphelios would have been proud of to stand with. 

She discovered her passion for teaching and ended up as a kindergarten teacher. Teaching kids about colors and flowers and the bright side of life. 

On her first year of being clean she got a tattoo on her arm of an anemone and stargazer intertwined. Their petals were a galaxy, a rainbow of colors swirling bright and happy. 

**___________ **

Soraka couldn't be happier but it came with a bittersweet cost. She was with the love of her life and as the years passed they only became closer. 

After Aphelios told her what to do that Christmas Eve she understood fully on just what he gave up. Of course Soraka was fully in love with Sett but it was a candle to the flame that Aphelios felt. He gave up everything, _everything,_ not so that she could be happy. Soraka wasn't delusional or stupid enough to believe Aphelios was that selfless. 

No, he gave up everything because his best friend's happiness was more important. 

That left a bitter taste in her mouth and guilt in her heart. Soraka didn't let it hold her back though. She was given a chance and intended to use it to its full extent. Soraka spent the next several years working on her doctoral and in the medicine field. Her research on Hanahaki and medicine was world renowned. A breakthrough in possible cures that didn't end in heartbreak. Soraka never wanted anyone to make the choice she now has to live with again.

The symbol she used in all her works was an anemone. 

**___________ **

Sett was never the brightest among his friends but when it came to his best friend. It was clear as day on what the other was feeling. He was a young boy full of anger and frustrations but one spring he found a boy who was suffering just like he was.

He didn't know why but seeing the kid with crescent scars awakened something within. Maybe it was the deep eyes that held so much pain, that screamed for someone to help him.

So he did. 

He helped that boy become someone who could stand on their own. At the same time that boy helped him too. 

On that day in spring a seed was planted in his heart and Sett promised to never let go of that boy.

They did everything together. They just understood each other in ways no one could understand. Childhood spent hunting fireflies and pillow forts. Crackling campfire and whispers of secrets under the stars. Endless sleepovers and promises of the future.

The seed quickly wrapped it's thorny vines around those two boys but the beautiful flower bloomed to cover the pain.

Sett couldn't bring himself to visit no matter how much anyone begged him. It goes so much that someone so intertwined was ripped away and he could barely grasp at why. He tried asking and pleading with anyone to tell him why. What happened.

Why did his best friend leave him?

He promised.

_He promised_.

Over the years after the wounds began to heal and they weren't tender. The others began to talk. It started with Alune and she told him of how that boy with crescent scars came to be and who he was. Alune told Sett of what she learned after everything.

Zoe told him of the darker parts of that crescent scarred boy. The parts he hid from Sett, too afraid to worry him more. Zoe told him of the nights when Aphelios felt like evening was too much and he needed relief only a blade could give him. She told him of the feeling that he's buried so deep they collapsed. 

Soraka was the last to approach and he was numb as she told him. The sacrifice that crescent scarred boy made. Soraka told him of this love sick girl and this broken disease. Of this love sick boy who loved the sun so much he wilted from the heat. Soraka told him of the pain of roots growing in her lungs and bloody petals. She told him about a love that burned so bright that any pain was worth it so long as they got to stay near that sun.

Sett stood before an open field of yellow. The spring breeze turned the field into an ocean. In his hands was a silver vase that he gripped so tightly. So many emotions tumbled inside like a storm. Everything felt like it was static and numb. 

Sett stood before an open field of daffodils, their scent bringing back memories. He tipped the vase and ashes were gently scattered by the breeze.

Words lodged in his throat, tears slipping down his face. Swallowing around the lump that refused to move.

"I love you too" 

**Author's Note:**

> Flowers Symbolism:
> 
> Dahlias: Staying kind in the have of hardships, commitment to someone
> 
> Daffodils: Inspiration, One true love, unrequited love, rebirth/ new beginnings
> 
> Anemones: Death if a loved one, Loss of them to someone else, Forsaken love
> 
> Purple Hyacinth: Deep regret
> 
> Gardenia: Hope, self-reflection
> 
> Stargazer: Optimism and reaching goals, reaching paradise in the afterlife


End file.
